The End is Near

The end of pregnancy is near.

I have mixed feelings about the whole end of the pregnancy. There are many reasons to want to have the baby right now and also many reasons to not want to wait a little longer. Let's go through the list.

There are many reasons to want to have the baby right now. I have never been so uncomfortable that to have the baby would be a blessing. I can start fitting into my old clothes. I'll hopefully get back to my prepregnancy weight. The mood swings will hopefully subside. My elephankles and sausage fingers will go away. The obvious reason is I really want to hold my little baby for the first time.

All of that being said there are many reasons to not want the baby to be born right now. The lack of sleep. The endless crying. The many dirty diapers. And the main one being the thought of labour and delivery scares the *bleep* out of me!

All of that being said. This baby is going to be born when he wants to be. I definetly think the want to hold my little baby is far more then any fear of pain or sleepless nights or dirty diapers. One day soon I will have my little baby and I can't wait.

Miracle of Life

So everyone talks about how being pregnant is such a magical and wonderful time. But I just don't know. I mean I know the end will be great when my little miracle arrives but lets just go over some of the things that will happen in the last 3 months or next 6 months...

1. Nausea
2. Getting Fat
3. Elephankles/Cancles (Feet swelling)
4. Bleeding Gums
5. Back Pain
6. Stretch Marks
7. Loss of Bladder Control
8. Crying for no Reason
9. Gas
10. Heart Burn
11. Everything touching everything
12. Can't eat foods you love
13. Cravings for you hate
14. LABOUR....Enough said!

This just to name a few. I am excited about what is to come but it is a crazy thing all of the changes and things you have to go through called the "Miracle of Life".

My Quest- Part Two

Could it be that I have come accross maybe a few answers to my questions? I think it might just be. However with every little bit of information that comes to me, I come up with more questions about men, that I have yet to understand.

So I think I have come up with the answer to the question of why they hit each other in the "junk". I guess for some bizarre reason they think it is absolutely hilarious to do so. I also believe that another reason might just be they are jealous of what the other guy has and just wants to hurt it. Whatever the reason it seems a little silly.

Also I have been talking to some guy friends and from my understanding, every guy is different in what they are looking for, so this could be a rather complex question. The one thing I got out of my conversations however was they want a genuinely nice person, someone they can bring home to their mothers, and someone who can just let them have that time with the boys. Now I know there are a lot more things to add to this list but that is a good start.

The why are they so mean question is still up to be answered however. Plus I have a few more quesitons to add to that list.

1. Why is it that men think they are ALWAYS right? Even when they are slearly wrong.

2. How can they change their mind every second minute about what they want and expect it to not confuse us?

3. Why is it that men are so ready to insult other people and laugh at other peoples expense especially women, but when the situations are reversed and it is the woman mocking the man they get so defensive?

Oh so many questions. And I think this is just the tip of the iceburg!

True-Ryan Cabrera

I wont talk
I wont breathe
I wont move till you finally see
That you belong with me

You might think I dont look
But deep insideIn the corner of my mind
Im attached to you
Im weak
Its true
Cuz im afraid to know the awnsers
Do you want me too?
Cuz my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
Its time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

You dont know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
Im afraid to move
Im weak
Its true
Im just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know u met me?

I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
Its time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

I know when I go ill be on my way to you
The way thats true

I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
Its time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

My Quest

I have decided recently that there are certain things I would like to know. Certain things that peak my interest and this is one of them...To understand the male species.

I KNOW I KNOW!!! Many strong females have tried and many have failed. It could be that I have a better chance at performing my own brain surgery than figuring out guys. And the fact remains that this could just be one quest that is going to have to be incomplete. However I am curious. I want to learn. I want to grow. I want to understand I have started off with 5 questions that I am curious about and figured I can go from there...


1. What is their facination with breasts?

2. How do males show they are interested in you?

3. What is their obsession with kicking, punching, grabbing etc other males "junk"?

4. What do they look for in females?

5. HOW ARE THEY SO MEAN WITHOUT EVEN SEEMING TO CARE?


Just a few questions. Some that I have pondered for a long time. Just trying to understand a little bit more about why guys are the way they are. Could it be that males really are simple and it's females that try to make them more complex then they need to be? I don't believe this to be so.

My Car...

My first car was a 1993 Geo Metro. It was bright blue, grey interior. It was a small car and I called him Blue Lightning. It got me from point A to point B usually It had a lot of what I liked to call "personality". By personality I mean things wrong with it. The windshield wiper wand or whatever it is called was missing. I had to unlock my front door by opening the trunk and using a hockey stick to unlock it, the passenger seat was broken in a half reclined position. And to be honest I think my car was cheating on me with the mechanic. I mean it was in that place about every two weeks or so it felt like.

I finally got to a point where I needed something better. I wanted a car that was going to not only get me where I was going but was going to get me home as well. So I bought my sisters Hyundai Accent. I figured things would be better but as it stands apparently this car hates me too. I really do have this love hate relationship going on with my car. I love the freedom that I have with it, I hate the dependency it has on my bank book, I love the way I feel driving it, I hate the way I feel having to fix it, I love the look of the car (compared to Blue Lightning that is), but I hate the look of the bills it gives me. I guess I was living in this fantasy world thinking that once I got this car it would be better. I wouldn't have to go and get it fixed all the time, but not the case. I think this car is proving to be even more expensive then little old Blue Lightning.

Oh the frustration of hearing those little sounds you know aren't suppose to be there and having to go and get it fixed! It's like I have this desire to turn up the music and pretend it's not there. But at the end of the day you know it is still going to be there and you know you are still going to have to get it looked at and guaranteed the mechanics are going to come at you with a "reasonable" price of only what NEEDS to be done and not what they WANT me to get done to decrease my bank book and increase theirs. I guess that is the price that has to be paid for this love/hate affair I have going on with my car.

I just can't wait until I love my car again.

Girls Night Out.

You know I don't think we realize sometimes just how much we truly need our girlfriends. Sometimes when you are just having a really long week and things just don't seem to be going all that great a night out with the girls of just sitting around and laughing is just what you need...Even if you weren't really looking forward to it in the beginning.

Tonight was a scheduled night that the girls were going to just hang out. Our plan to go to the movies. I was kind of excited about it, and then I really just wanted to be at home in bed not being around people just being by myself, and that doesn't generally happen to me. I like being around people. So the plan was to go to a movie, but plans changed, so we ended up at a friends house with snacks and a movie.

So at first we just start talking and the movie didn't end up on. We just talked all night. And that ended up being exactly what I needed. Just a good night of laughing with friends. Really not doing anything but talking about life and telling stories! I love my girlfriends and although we all sometimes get so caught up in life and work and everything else that comes along with it I am so glad we could just take some time to just forget about time and everything else and just laugh!